Archive for May, 2006

Modeling Happiness

It seems that we humans aren’t too good at finding happiness, even if it’s the main reason for why we do anything.

In our pursuit of happiness, we may rely only on our own mind, especially on our imagination and memory, or we can use the current experiences of the others.

Daniel Gilbert in his new book “Stumbling on Happiness”, seems to develop the idea that our imagination and memory instead of helping us, they betray us on our path to happiness.

In this process of achieving happiness, our memory call the past, trying to build the puzzle of some past events, but our memory not being perfect use imagination to fill its gaps, in this way it misinform us. On the other hand, our imagination tries to build the future with the pieces from our past, but we have to understand that this is only a guess, not an accurate picture of the future.

I must agree that our imagination and memory often trick us, but we must be aware that they are tools and tools aren’t good or bad, but their usage is so. Even if our mental tools can’t be fully controlled, we have the capacity to discipline them and make them our servants. (more…)

The Past and the Future Steal Our Present

Looking at our life at present, many of us notice that they lived and even live not so much in the present, but in the past and the future.

The question is if this way of living your life is efficient and benefic for us.

It’s a good thing to analyze our past behaviors and past events, because only in this way we can learn how not to repeat our past mistakes and how to apply again our successful past attitudes, believes, thoughts and behaviors.

Also is a good thing to plan our future, setting goals, because only so we can progress and achieve great things.

In this respect, our capacity to access the past and project the future is an asset of humans. (more…)

Your Attitude Determines Others’ Attitude Towards You

If you ever asked yourself why others behaved rude or unpleasant with you at a given moment, there is a simple answer: your own attitude determined their behavior. I see this every day, when I watch my son (one year and five months old) playing with other children. If one of them is shy, then my son will dominate and rule their interaction. If there is one of them bold (usually being older than my son), then my son will be more cautious and less rude with him.

There are studies which show that depressed, anxious children are more likely to be bullied. This prove the idea that your attitude, behavior determine others’ attitude and behavior towards you.

Each of us is a good psychologist when it comes to read others’ attitude and inner & outer power. Even a little boy can see if a peer is stronger than him or not. But not each of us is a good psychologist when it comes to implement and practice a certain attitude or behavior. You may notice and even be conscious what kind of attitude do you need in order to obtain something from others, but you may have problems to implement it in your daily life. (more…)