Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

Happiness, Dilemma and Difference

We often think that happiness is reserved only for wealthy people, who have enough money to satisfy all their wishes. The problem is that happiness implies two dimensions that are contrary one with another. The first dimension form the foundation on which is built personal happiness and it don’t require money or wealth to reach it (but it’s problematic to reach it when you make and have a lot of money), this is inner peace. The second dimension of happiness presuppose, more or less, financial resources to achieve it and it is about pleasant experiences (beginning with most diverse food and drink and ending with most exotic traveling and adventure).

The biggest dilemma of a human individual is this: if he is making a lot of money, is very hard for him to reach inner peace (which is a sine qua non component of happiness); if he don’t have a lot of money, he can’t taste too many and diverse pleasant experiences.

For the one who make a lot of money is very hard (even if not impossible) to be peaceful and restful, because making of, handling of and keeping of money require un exhaustible intellectual (his mind is always busy to think to diverse combinations and variants for making money and also his mind is hunted by the fear of losing them) and physical (a terrible running against time) effort. However, in the scarce time which he can steal from this financial agitation or rat race (a few minutes per day and a few days per year for holidays), he who make a lot of money can have access, due to his money, to the most diverse and pleasant experiences. Be careful though, pleasure doesn’t equal happiness, but is only a component of it. A person can be unhappy even while is consuming the most pleasant experiences. (more…)

Social-Emotional Skills

Knowing much about emotional and social intelligence doesn’t give you social-emotional skills over night. Of course, learning begins with knowledge, but only by practice can we transform our knowledge into an active and efficient tool. To become a social and emotional skilled person is a tough task but, if you want to bring success into your life, you have to: be self-conscious, be very motivated, be able of self-regulation, be able to motivate others and be able of empathy. Even if we like it or not, our feelings conduct our behavior, but not in a rational, coherent and perceptible way.

We all are made of a combination of strengths and weaknesses. The point is how to develop your strengths and minimize your weaknesses, so that these traits make your life and others lives better. Emotional intelligence is the psychological faculty that provides you with social-emotional skills. It has five components that can be translated into five essential social-emotional aptitudes:

  • Self-regulation – to be capable to conduct ourselves and to control our emotional state;
  • Self-consciousness – to recognize and understand our feelings;
  • Motivation – management of feelings in order to achieve our objectives;
  • Empathy – identifying and decoding the feelings of others;
  • Social Abilities – being able to relate and influence others.
  • (more…)

How to Have a Positive Attitude

When we talk about how to have a positive attitude, we firstly have in mind those tough, problematic and negative situations when we loose our calm, hopes and joy. But we have to understand that positive attitude must be a daily presence in our life, not only in bad contexts. Usually our daily mood isn’t bad, nor positive enough but neutral. We have to realize it and change our negative attitude and also neutral attitude into positive ones. The key is to keep a positive attitude despite the situation you are in, to maintain a positive thinking in the face of adversity, but also to cultivate it daily.

Before going further, we have to find out how many kinds of attitudes are there. If we figure out a line with two extremes (positive and negative) and a center (neutral), then we have three basic kinds. We can change the names and say optimistic attitude (aka positive), realistic (neutral) and pessimistic (negative), then these can include more specific ones. What we have to keep in mind is that attitude is a mental construct, a state of mind, an inner disposition toward something from the outside world and that it influences your behavior. Positive or negative attitude is your affective mind directed toward something: you, others, specific situations and life in general.

We must accept that having and persisting in a negative attitude doesn’t solve anything, but make things worse by undermining the main agent that can change the situation: YOU. Positive attitude enhances creativity and so it helps you to find solutions to your problems, but negative attitude doesn’t give you anything constructive. (more…)