Sympathy and Antipathy

Did you ever ask yourself why do you consider some people likable and others unlikable? We people make and often use this “discrimination” as a criteria to easy the selection of possible partners for a relationship. It is known that all of us prefer to interact with pleasant people avoiding the nasty ones.

Psychologically speaking, there are two main reasons for the sympathy/antipathy feeling. The first one is the complementarity – it means that we like and appreciate to others those qualities that we don’t have but wish to have. Extraordinary is that this perspective makes us to see beyond our qualities, to give credit to someone else’s capacities.

The second reason is the similarity which implies the idea that we like and appreciate to others the same qualities that we have and dislike the similar faults. From this point of view, being concentrated only on our capacities is some how a permanent source for our narcissist behavior.

Those reacting according to the first explanation are looking for a partner who must complete his qualities and personality, to become one being in spirit and mind. The second type of people prefers a similar partner to put their own qualities in a good light.

Even if it’s natural to like some ones and dislike others, we have to be less aggressive and more subtle in showing these feelings, especially the antipathy. The most important thing is to learn to accept our and others faults and to appreciate a person with qualities when we see one. If we don’t like somebody it doesn’t denote that he is not a valuable individual. Do not transform this feeling in an obvious discrimination! – Psychologist, Nicoleta Cramaruc